A late night of blogging begins...I swear, there are so many nights where I plan on going to bed a tad earlier, and then I end up wasting my time:). Well I say the night is still young! And part of me doesn't want the day to end just yet (even though it technically now is a new day, whatever we can pretend).
[A photo series taken last summer. An interesting...frustrating story behind the camera, but that is besides the point right now.]
Long story short, I was going to the gym today and lost my gym ID and driver's license on the way there. How? I don't bring my entire wallet to the gym usually, sheesh. Well, I got to the parking lot and was searching all over for them in my car, I thought I just forgot and left them back home, so I drove back to find them not there either. I was looking everywhere from under the car seats to my room, retracing my steps. I was super confused! I was sure I brought them with me in the car...didn't I? They ended up being on top of the bathroom sink. Whaaaa? I don't even remember being there, but I guess that I had just stopped by in there to look in the mirror like the girl I am. Weird.
The way we search for things seems (at times), more important than the things themselves. I feel like I always try to look for something better in my life. It's like trying to swim in an empty ocean trying to fill myself up with nothing. I am pretty much using broken binoculars. Do you believe that we end up finding what we're looking for, when we're not actually looking? But then, it's like I am focusing on trying not to search for that one thing, in order to find it...but that motive is still trying to find it. Ya know? I think it takes a lot to clear your mind and focus on what we have, rather what we don't. It has been so difficult to do that.
I just hope that God leads us to something FAR more important than what we want, what we are trying to find. The sky is constantly changing just as we are, everyday, and so does the direction we are headed...but we will end up where we need to be, the invisible dot on the map we have laying out in front of us. All I know is that it is an electrifying thought to think about how different plans will turn out to be, in the greatest way possible. It is truly a struggle sometimes to put my complete faith in His plan and maintain that focus. We have to, at one point, or another, get over ourselves(!) and what we desire, and put our confidence in the One and Only with everything we do with fruit...especially patience. And especially for me...
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