If I were a boy...

I would not have to pack as much crap as I am in the process right now. I consider this post as an excuse for a break...besides, I haven't blogged in awhile and I thought I'd get a tiny one in before school and hecticness(?) begins. I know I will find myself lazy and not blog as much as I would like, but who knows I'll try I guess. Anyways, I might manage to pack everything with 2 suitcases(yes, 2! not 3!) this time, I learned my lesson from last year to not pack so many shoes (I never wear) and so many clothes(I never wear), well actually, I still have a ton of clothes but I think I'm lighter than before :). I find myself bringing more than necessary winter clothes, but it's California...I know. We live right near the mountains, so it's colder humidity wise. Surprisingly, the morning and nights get cold out in Azusa(nothing compared to Colorado of course), and we get a good amount of cloudy/rainy days. It sucks because I learned that I really looove winter clothing. Then this gets me thinking about the snow. And how California lacks this one great thing, but Christmas break will do me some justice. It was a hard decision choosing my cardigans to bring, I kept thinking, "Do I even wear these?" "How often am I going to even wear this?" I shoved away those thoughts, and packed about 6 cardigans...I'm a cardigan lover you see.  I know I'll always end up not wearing about half of the clothes I pack, but for some reason they are for the sake of having more options.
I am leaving tomorrow for California after a long, but lovely summer. This year, I am staying in an apartment with 4 of my friends. The place includes a kitchen, small living room, 2 bedrooms, and a bathroom. We have been planning all our decorations and ideas for months now and I can't wait to see what we will end up doing with it all. It will be super nice to have our own kitchen, but who am I kidding, I don't cook. I'm lazy...and my best dish would probably be an egg or a pancake. If only I cooked the Asian food the way my mom cooks it, then my stomach would be set. But instead, I honestly can say I don't have much of an interest in cooking. Baking, I can handle, but only do once in awhile. Hopefully I can learn to cook/bake more this year.
I am thrilled/nervous/anxious for this new year to come. Thinking about last year only makes me feel as if this year will be 10x better. So begins my journey tomorrow...

I Remember

Today was productive, as productive as I can get. This is what happens when I get back from a 9 day trip. I got my summer class transcript form mailed in, went to the gym, applied for an on campus job for this year, went out to cash in my coins($15! score), bought my Maybelline concealer I've been meaning to buy which required 2 tries as I bought too light of a color the first time and may I add in, it sucks trying to find the right concealer/foundation color(the seasons change and so does your skin color, gosh darn it) , and bought my first Apple Cider Vinegar. Do I hear an applause? I had never even heard about this vinegar, but I was reading about it and apparently, it is extremely healthy for you. Organically, it is a remedy for sickness, high blood pressure, diabetes, skin complexion(eczema), pets with fleas, high cholesterol, allergies, arthritis, weight loss, and so much more. It smells like strong sour wine, but just mix a bit in with water or with juice. I have become such a beauty junkie this summer, and what I mean by that is I have become addicted to finding health products/makeup, reading reviews on them, and trying them out for myself. SO, if you need any new makeup or beauty product recommendation, I'm your gal.

[Hey Ocean! - Islands]

I got back from Toronto just yesterday. It's weird all the little things I remember from being there when I was young. It was the first time visiting all my relatives there since about 7 years ago. The last time I was there, I  was a flower girl for my uncle's wedding. This time I was behind my awesome camera, photographing my cousin's wedding(the best I could). There was so much action and Asian craziness, I felt as if I was really rushing with my camera. Oh and there was sooo much food. You know, it really is a problem that I am Asian and hate seafood. I know, it doesn't make sense. Half the food in Toronto being presented was seafood. I will always be a picky girl.
Arriving in Toronto, I didn't remember the airport, the scenery, or weather, but I did recognize the smell of one of my aunt's house, the way the floor of the house felt and how I would try to avoid all the dirty/sticky spots, the feel of the restaurants all our families had gone to, the smell of certain stores at the Asian malls, and the familiar shyness I had with all my relatives. I used to follow my sister around all the time in our relatives' houses, I remember there was a point when she got mad at me and told me to stop.  I also remember my grandma but she did not remember me. She currently has Alzheimer's and is in Stage 6 or 7, I would say. My cousin was talking to her and I was observing. She sat on the couch folding her sweater over and over again in different folds. She kept telling us how pretty it was. We tried to get her to go outside, but she refused in a way where it seemed as if she was just uncomfortable and didn't understand. She usually sits on the couch and watches t.v., and gets fed/showered by an assistant. At this point, she doesn't recognize much of her family including my dad, she doesn't know what hunger or hygiene is, but she still can normally function. We would ask her questions and she would answer, but she does not know anything; where she is, who she is, time, and doesn't recognize faces. Some of my family thinks that her mentality is placed in old images, faces from the past, before her sickness.
I just think Alzheimer's is such a depressing, interesting, and complex disease. Somebody can forget all their common sense, knowledge, and function, but there HAS to be tiny things they remember. My aunt was singing a Christian song to her, trying to get her to recognize it, and she sang along with her.My grandma at one point also asked someone where my mom was. She laughs a lot, at unusual things or at nothing at all. Her mind is mentally gone, but her heart and spirit is there. It is incredible what cause of great loss Alzheimer's can do to the mind. I cannot imagine. Everyday, it is worth remembering the things we do and enjoy, love the faces we know, and fill our mind with even more beauty and knowledge before it one day, may be too late.